BOOST Breakfast Club

Kids Bond to People, Not Programs

Dr. Gale Gorke — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0400

One of the things I am most grateful for is how my job allows me the opportunity to meet and work with some of the most amazing people. I am inspired daily by those who have given their time and talents to after school programs across the country. And since it is apparent, they are not in this business for the vast amount of money they can earn, there is something else that compels them. They love kids!

Yes, I used the "L" word. In a recent training in Arizona, one of the participants told me that the organization she worked for told the employees that they were not allowed to tell the children that they loved them. In today's climate of media sensationalism and flagrant litigation, it is our children who miss out on knowing there are responsible, capable, adult role models in their lives, who love them and are there to help encourage them to reach their potential. I have said over and over again in the seminars and conference keynotes I have given- "if you don't love kids, get another job."

There is a very good reason for this statement. Ultimately, kids bond to people, not programs. You can have a state of the art facility. Your gym can have beautiful hardwood floors, your basketball rims are still horizontal, the nets are attached, and the basketballs are still round. The problem comes when the adults that work there are not even sure they like children. Children recognize this and they will come once, borrow the basketballs, and never come again. The opposite is also true. Your facility can be held together by the numerous layers of paint on the walls and your idea of fitness equipment could be a broom handle, newspaper, and duct tape. And yet, the adults there genuinely love children. The children will come, again and again....and most likely gift you the basketballs from the other facility, thus providing you an opportunity to teach them a valuable lesson about honesty and integrity.

Hiring and investing in the members of our staff is essential in creating a safe and caring environment. When I was responsible for interviewing and selecting the individuals who would ultimately be working in the after school program, I always looked for them to express their genuine affection for children without any prompting on my part. They could always develop the skills they needed through the staff development the organization provided, but who they were with children was something they had to bring to the job. I hired for character and compassion.

In a recent interview Oprah was conducting with one of her guests, she was addressing the concept of what makes a good parent. I only caught a glimpse of the program, but the response the woman gave grabbed my attention. She simply stated that parents who love their children "light up" when they see them enter a room. As a staff member of an after school program....do you "light up" when the children come into the MPR? Can they tell from the moment they are in your presence that they are cared for? Are you the kind of adult who they can count on and who restores their hope for the future? It really is that simple. As Dr. James Connor states, "no significant learning occurs in the absence of a significant relationship." Kids bond to people, not programs.

For breakfast I had fresh eggs from my own chickens, an English muffin with seedless boysenberry jelly! Yum!

{jcomments off}

Why Should We Build Relationships with Youth?

Julia Gabor — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0400

I am passionate about teaching kids, and understating WHY students are disengaged. I have written a thesis (currently under review) that examines this national issue- TEACHER EFFECTIVENESS and STUDENT DISENGAGEMENT. In the thesis, I provide seven teaching strategies that help teachers become more effective in the classroom- creating a strong connection to their students, hopefully, improving student retention, and in the end advancing the student’s chances for success inside a competitive and often troubled educational system. Simply, my thesis helps the educator connect to kids. The following is a passage from my thesis for my masters in Educational Leadership.

For almost 10 years I have been teaching and facilitating groups in education, arts and leadership. I began leading youth groups in my late teens through my early twenties. Throughout my adult life, I have worked with children as young as five professional educators on a national platform, and artists as old as 60. I have facilitated, in both public and private schools, at over 40 national educator and counselor conferences. I have also facilitated and taught at professional theater companies in New York City and Los Angeles. My wide exposure to different age groups, audiences, and learning communities — combined with my varied background in traditional and nontraditional education — has provided me with skills that make it possible to observe what teaching techniques have been most effective and productive for both youth and educators.

In 2003-2006, I worked in South Los Angeles in a middle school that was red-flagged by the state as one of the three lowest performing in the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD). I was teaching an innovative after-school program that provided supplemental academic help and enrichment classes for middle school youth. Certainly there were many challenges. Everything from socio-economic issues, poor-quality classrooms, no materials for lessons, behavioral issues, poor-performing and disengaged students, no parent involvement, students who didn’t trust a white lady, and students who were just bored. I had no formal training in education at that time, just a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and a natural gift for teaching. In order to break through all these barriers, at the start of class I began asking the students questions about themselves. Each day they would come to my class and we would ‘check in.’ I wanted to know how they were doing so that I could structure the lessons for the afternoon. I would spend just a few minutes going around the room and taking a kind of ‘pulse check.’ By the end of the first week, I noticed that students were coming in and saying “Ms. Julia, can I tell you something that happened to me today?” By the second week, I noticed that number of students were much more willing to focus on school work instead of goofing off or acting complacent. During our now ritual ‘check in,’ we had begun to discuss some real-life issues and how their futures would be impacted if they didn’t study and continue with school. The students felt valued and they began to understand why going to school and doing their lessons were relevant to the future. I believed that they really did want to learn but were having a difficult time seeing the connection between school and their personal lives.

The challenges described above became less each day. It no longer mattered what color I was or if they had a bad day earlier in school — it mattered that there was a caring adult willing to spend some time hearing about their lives. I was ‘building relationships’; they were willing to listen to me.

In 2006, I was hired at an educational nonprofit whose mission is to provide limitless possibilities to young people through supplementary educational opportunities. I was hired to train and implement a character education curriculum. In the process, I attended and facilitated over 40 national conferences with educators ranging from school teachers, administrators, school counselors, out-of school-time youth workers, community-based organizations, service-learning providers, and more. At these conferences, not only was I able to show educators how to implement the new curriculum I was managing , but through coaching I began to hear how the character education program was helping the educators connect to their students — thus providing them more learning opportunities, along with traditional academics, for their students. Young people were becoming motivated by the curriculum because it focused on youth development and character-building. The students in turn began connecting with their teachers because of the very nature of what was being taught. The program showed students their intrinsic value and potential, additionally creating engagement in other areas of the classroom outside of academics.

Through my travels around the country, listening to and observing educators from many different kinds of educational institutions, one common thread I hear is that they are frustrated with the students’ level of engagement. The challenges in and out of the classroom present some variables that can be controlled, and some that cannot. An educational mentor of mine once said “Hungry kids don’t learn.” — that is a variable a teacher cannot control. Mandated testing is another variable a teacher cannot control. But what happens when a child walks into a classroom, for the most part, a teacher can control. What I hear from youth is a variety of issues: ‘It’s boring, I don’t know why I have to learn this, I hate taking tests, all we do is sit in the classroom, the teacher doesn’t care, or the teacher doesn’t even know who I am.’

Reflecting on what educators have provided as feedback from the program in which I trained for six years— as well as listening to students talk about what they want from teachers — it has occurred to me that if a teacher can build a relationship through creative and disguised learning strategies, their chances for student engagement will expand even further than the personal ‘check in’ mentioned above. The student will begin to see the educator as someone who has invested in them and their futures. By building relationships in the classroom, students are more apt to attend class and stay open to learning. Even with subjects they may not enjoy, they will endure because they ‘like’ the teacher. In my experience, this is a key motivator for student success -- and it may well create a greater chance for a promising future.

If you would like further information about the seven strategies for student success—please email me at jule2nyc@hotmail.com . #changinglives @julesneducation

Julia Gabor had fruit and tea for breakfast.

A Time to Reflect

Tara Donahue — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:46:00 -0500

Although it is cliché, as the end of the year approaches, it is a time to think about closing out the old year and bringing in the new year. As your programs and schools wind down for the holiday season, this allows us an opportune time to reflect upon the accomplishments of our students, our staff, and ourselves. It’s also a time to think about what we did not accomplish in 2011 but what we hope to do in 2012. These may be seemingly minor things like not cleaning out the supply closet, or it may be something more major, such as our students are not where we would like them to be academically. So, I invite each of you for a few minutes to take a breath, forget about the baking and shopping and card sending, grab a hot cup of coffee or tea, and sit down and reflect upon the following questions.

What were your major accomplishments in 2011?

Depending on your role, you may have had a variety of goals that you wished to accomplish in 2011. Directors may have wanted to provide their staff with new professional development opportunities to make them stronger leaders. Staff members may have wanted to try new activities with their students or try a new technology in an activity. Regardless of the goal, it should have aligned to your overall mission and vision.

I’m sure that programs may have had bigger overarching goals such as improving academic achievement for a group of students or bringing low-achieving students up to grade level. As you analyze your fall semester data, did you accomplish those goals for your students? If so, celebrate! If you fell short, don’t worry. Think strategically about how you will achieve those goals next semester. Being flexible and learning how to monitor your data continuously to ensure you are making continuous program improvement is an on-going dynamic process and what makes our lives exciting!

What are your goals for 2012?

Setting goals or resolutions for the new year is nothing new, but it does take time and commitment to make the activity useful. So, while I have your attention, grab a pen and paper and brainstorm where you’d like to be three months, six months, nine months, and 12 months from now. Make a commitment to check in with yourself at least once a month to see if you are on target. This type of activity can be very therapeutic and help you focus, even if you are nowhere close to meeting your goal. Remember, there is no pressure. These are personal activities to help you achieve the goals (both personal and professional) in your lives.

As adults, we naturally have goals that we would like to accomplish. We have the flexibility and processes to monitor our progress and make adjustments to our plans. How many of you have asked staff or students to set goals? This can be a beneficial for staff, especially staff who are right out of school to help them think about where they are at and where they want to be.

For students, the reflection piece is critical as it helps them become responsible young adults. Goals do not necessarily have to be academic. Let students set social goals or physical activity goals. Let them chart and monitor their own progress (hint: math activity). As students watch their progress, it will help them learn the benefit of hard work. And, as always, celebrate the successes!

I realize that I haven’t said anything new here, but I hope you were able to relax a bit to mentally think about the end of a year and to begin to think about what you would like to see happen next year. So, go rinse out your cup, it’s time to get back to the baking and shopping and card sending…

My breakfast this morning consisted of three vanilla bean scones from Starbucks and an iced tea. Note to self: improve breakfast food in 2012!

Parenting Strategies to Conquer the CyberBullying Puzzle

JVandenburgh — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:14:00 -0500

Many articles being written lately are suggesting that parents are the missing piece in solving the cyberbullying puzzle. What they are suggesting is that communication between parents and their children is often too many times missing. Parents need to truly get involved in “cyber” discussions with their children. We need to take the initiative to dialogue on “cyber” issues that our children are engaging in. The following questions and strategies will help parents initiate and sustain conversations with their children.

Initiating Conversation Questions:

All questions are asked from parent to child

“If I was to spend an hour a night online, which sites do you think I would enjoy going to?”

“Can you show me how to get to the site?”

“What sites do you enjoy visiting?”

“What is your favorite site to go to? How often do you go there?”

“What sites do your friends enjoy going to?”

“If I wanted to play video games online, where would I go?”

“What are your favorite video games to play online?”

“What do you think my user name should be?”

“What is your user name you use with your friends?”

“Is there anything I should worry about when I am online?

“Have you ever been worried about anything when online?”

“Have you ever had a friend worry about something when online?”

“What would you do if someone approached you online that you did not know?”

“What should I do if someone approaches me online that I do not know?”

“Are there sites that your friends go to that they probably should not?”

“Have you ever witnessed someone being cyerbullied while online?”

“What did they say?”

“Did anything happen to the person?”

“Have you ever been cyberbullied?”

“What do you think needs to be done to address cyberbullying?”

“What can I do to make you feel comfortable to talk to me about threatening situations that might happen while you are online?”

“If you were ever threatened while online, what would you do?”

“What do you think about the two of us sitting down once a week to talk about things that you experience while online?”

Sustaining the Conversations

The preceding questions will help initiate communication between parents and children. Although it is an important step, simply initiating communication is not enough, sustaining communication and making it a habit is critical in our efforts to address cyberbullying. The following strategies can be utilized to sustain consistent communication.

Sustaining Strategies

Cyber Chats – Establish a time where you can sit down with your child and have discussions on cyber issues. These “cyber” chats should be implemented on a weekly basis and should focus on any situation that might have come up in the last week. These situations could create dialogue on personal issues as well as issues seen in news media. Use this time to establish a communication line between you and your child that they can depend on. You will find that this weekly communication will develop trust between you and your child and overtime that trust will become the catalyst to exposing critical issues they experience when online.

Personalized email addresses – Create personalized email addresses that are to only be used for you and your child. These email addresses will not be shared with anyone else and will only be used for private communication between you and your child. Explain to your child that they can email you anytime they want and express how they are feeling. The only person who will read this will be you and your child. Use these email accounts to send positive comments to your child and let them know you care about them.

Cyber Projects or Games – Spend time online together with your child. This could be as simple as playing games together. Remember not all gaming online is bad. Find some positive time together online where you can learn from your child what is going on. This time together will not only develop your online skills, but more importantly will create moments for discussion on online situations. This will create an opportunity for you as the parent to model the behavior that is expected online. To know what is going on in the cyberworld, we must get into the cyberworld.

Instant Messaging Account – Set up an instant messaging account for your child to contact you when needed. This is to be established as a casual communication tool and not one for an emergency. Instant messaging is not always on and should not be relied on to send an emergency message. Instant messaging is a great tool to communicate casually when you can.

Situational Practice – Create time to practice together how you would respond to a threatening situation when online. Create a fictitious scenario that you and your child can go through together. Example, if your child was online and they saw a friend being cyberbullied, what could they do? Have them go through the steps in how they would respond this threatening situation on their friend. This practice will develop both you and your child’s skills to responding to these online interactions. This will also expose any gaps that might have gone undetected. These practice scenarios should be implemented once a month.

As stated earlier communication between a child and their parents is the most important factor in establishing a safe and secure online environment for our children. There is not a secret formula that will guide us to effective communication. Simply spending time together and engaging in conversations will lead to effective communication with you and your child. Understand that we are all different and our kids are all different, use strategies that work for you. What may work for your neighbor may not be what works for you and your family. What is important though, is that you spend time together with your child in conversations. By not spending time together will leave our children vulnerable to situations they may not understand how to handle.

For breakfast I had a fine balance of Waffles and Coffee!